Why?

Posted under Le Blog

Hey “Jimmy John’s”, why don’t you give me a paper bag with my sandwich? Even small corner deli’s do this. Why not you? Why JJ, do you make me ask for a bag then point at it rather than reach over and give it to me?

Hey, CTA lady bus driver that drives the 156 weekdays starting at Belmont and Halsted, why do you drive like you’re getting paid for over time? Is it necessary to stop at a green and wait for it to turn red? You make me mad, slowy-McGee.

Hey low-cut-blouse-wearing lady, why do you give me a dirty look when I glance over and do a double-take? You WANT me looking, otherwise you’d wear a turtle-neck.

Don’t get mad at me for taking a sneak at your ta-tah’s when your ta-tah’s are out enjoying the sun.

Hey Joe Wilson, why did you act like a little spoiled brat with no manners at Obama’s speech? You are part of our government. You are supposed to be looked up to. You are supposed to be the example of dignity, honor, and respect. Look, everyone knows that every job comes with its perks and with some aggravations. So have an opinion, Yes. But, don’t let your opinion interfere with your job performance or how you’re looked at and perceived at the workplace.

That’s a piece of advice I was looking forward to sharing with a son or daughter one day, but I just had to give it to a Congressman of the United States of America.

This wasn’t about politics, sir. This was about professionalism. You dummy.

Hey iPhone, why did you sign a sucky contract with AT&T? If your phone wasn’t so cool I’d open my phone, fill it with boogers and toss it thru an AT&T window.

Hey, people responsible for “The Wire” on HBO. Why do you make such a great show that makes me care too much about the characters? Why are you so damn good?

You too “Battlestar Galactica” folks. Why did you create such a great remake with amazing storylines?

Hey Michael Crabtree….Why?

See, Football season is here and there’s still one NEW pro football player that hasn’t signed a contract by the team that signed him.

His name is Michael Crabtree and he was picked 10^th in this year’s draft. Not first, not second, or even fifth. Tenth.

Why hasn’t he signed a contract yet or been to a single practice?

Because he’s “holding out”.

Holdout – “a refusal by a negotiator to come to terms in the hope of obtaining a better deal”

He was offered 20 million dollars to play a GAME of football for 5 years -with 16 of that 20 guaranteed.

Michael Jordan more than proved he was worth it when the Bulls offered him 30+ million for one year towards the end of his career.

You? You haven’t proven or accomplished a damn thing on a professional level yet, and here you are holding out for more money. You haven’t even had a chance to lace up a pair shoes in a professional uniform, but you want more money.

You claim to love this game -A GAME, and you’re holding out as if that sort of money has always been chump-change to you.

You have proven to be a great player in high school and college, but like many before you can attest to, all those past accomplishments don’t mean squat once you put on a pro uniform.

You have the chance to do something many, many people dream about all their lives. There are people out there that have the capacity to be better than you but due to circumstance don’t have the means to showcase their talent. Life was kind to you and you were lucky to have people in your life that allowed you to follow a path where your natural talent could be showcased and seen.

But you act as if you have already been responsible for many superbowl championships and now demand that your pro accomplishments be properly recognized with money.

Do you think your possible future team mates like you right now? Do you think you’re on your way to being a good role model?

Oh, and then you threatened to sit out this season and enter next year’s draft. Really?

Know what? I hope you do sit out this year. But I also hope that during that time you injure yourself doing something stupid that will prevent you from ever putting on a pro uniform.

Oh, is too mean? Ok, tell you what then. I hope you DO get the extra money you are asking for. Yup.

And when you get it, I hope you are never injured so you can work your ass off every day. But I hope your hard work never pays off the way you think it will. I hope that you become just another player that never reaches the popularity he thought he would reach and that you squander your money fast and easy.

I hope you end up being so bad that in the end you are released several times by different teams, and end up begging for a shot with other teams late in your career.

Being a douche-bag doesn’t pay off. Just ask Barry Bonds.

So Mr. Crabtree, you are an honorary inductee into the douche-bag club.

Hey, where you going? I’m talking to you Jimmy John’s. And you, slow-ass CTA lady driver. Yeah, you too, low-cut-blouse-wearing hussy. Joe Wilson, get your ass over here. Yup, you too, Apple. You are all in the douche-bag club.

Hey “The Wire” and “Battlestar Galactica”, wanna go out for drinks? My treat.

Go Getters! Party Bus! Fun!

Posted under Le Blog

How far is too far to get to where you want to be or want to do?

I think that for some, there is no limit, and in some cases, this has served them well. Are those what you call “go-getters”?

I’ve always been the type to take the “patient road”. I’m confident in what I can do, but I don’t like to be a pest or talk about me much. (Yet, here I am blogging about…..Me)

The past couple of years I’ve been urged to do a better job at promoting myself. I’ve tried it a few times but it always felt ‘dirty’. I don’t know, it just feels weird flat out telling someone “Here’s why I belong here”, then run down a list of your accomplishments.

It’s like basically reading your resume out loud to someone. I know it’s silly to feel this way, but I just feel weird doing that sort of stuff. I know it’s necessary and I know it’s something I should get better at, but too often I rely on letting my work do the talking for me.

That’s why I like auditioning. It’s pretty simple: You hand in your resume, and then you do what you’re told to do on camera, and then wait for the call.

You don’t have to call, ask, follow up, or anything. Just sit back and hope to get the call.

So yeah, I wish I was a little braver when it comes to “showing how much I want this!”, but I can’t help feeling weird doing it. And it hasn’t helped that the few times I tried it, I wasn’t very successful and I just seemed to come off a pest, which was my biggest fear to begin with.

As stated before, this blog was started for me by a dear friend because he said this could be a good thing depending on how I used it. I wonder it I’m doing it right…

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If you take public transportation to get to work, you should have more friends.

Think about it: EVERY day, at the SAME time, and at the SAME location, you pretty much use the same method of transportation to go to and from work.

And EVERY time you’re waiting to get on the bus or train, you pretty much see the same faces waiting with you, and then once you’re on the bus or train, you see even more familiar faces.

Yet, you don’t speak to them.

You’ll sit there and notice things like a new a haircut, new hairstyle, new clothing attire, someone using a different perfume or cologne, a new music player, cool new book bag, new piercing, a book you’ve read or want to read, someone looking sad or worried, or someone hungover.

You see most of these people almost EVERY day, yet you won’t so much as nod to them.

And of course, for the most part, that is one long, boring, silent bus or train.

Wouldn’t it be great if people started talking to each other and acknowledge the fact that in a weird way you all sorta know each other?

If everyone treated that bus or train ride as a mini party to and from work, the work day would be a little extra fun, especially if you have a boring job.

Imagine getting on the bus, and just like at your favorite watering hole, people yelled out your name.

“Hey, it’s Randy!”

Everyone: “Randeeeeee!”

Randy: “What up, bitcheeees!”

Next Stop: Party Time.

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I got to see my family and old friends a lot the past couple of weeks and loved every minute of it.

To top it off my niece texted me to let me know she got an early acceptance to Truman College.

This little girl has had the odds stacked against her, and time after time she continues to surprise me. I almost cried reading that text.

I can’t express how happy and proud I am of her.

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Come see my shows. (See list on the side for show info)

There, I just promoted myself.