Why?

Posted under Le Blog by Cesua

Hey “Jimmy John’s”, why don’t you give me a paper bag with my sandwich? Even small corner deli’s do this. Why not you? Why JJ, do you make me ask for a bag then point at it rather than reach over and give it to me?

Hey, CTA lady bus driver that drives the 156 weekdays starting at Belmont and Halsted, why do you drive like you’re getting paid for over time? Is it necessary to stop at a green and wait for it to turn red? You make me mad, slowy-McGee.

Hey low-cut-blouse-wearing lady, why do you give me a dirty look when I glance over and do a double-take? You WANT me looking, otherwise you’d wear a turtle-neck.

Don’t get mad at me for taking a sneak at your ta-tah’s when your ta-tah’s are out enjoying the sun.

Hey Joe Wilson, why did you act like a little spoiled brat with no manners at Obama’s speech? You are part of our government. You are supposed to be looked up to. You are supposed to be the example of dignity, honor, and respect. Look, everyone knows that every job comes with its perks and with some aggravations. So have an opinion, Yes. But, don’t let your opinion interfere with your job performance or how you’re looked at and perceived at the workplace.

That’s a piece of advice I was looking forward to sharing with a son or daughter one day, but I just had to give it to a Congressman of the United States of America.

This wasn’t about politics, sir. This was about professionalism. You dummy.

Hey iPhone, why did you sign a sucky contract with AT&T? If your phone wasn’t so cool I’d open my phone, fill it with boogers and toss it thru an AT&T window.

Hey, people responsible for “The Wire” on HBO. Why do you make such a great show that makes me care too much about the characters? Why are you so damn good?

You too “Battlestar Galactica” folks. Why did you create such a great remake with amazing storylines?

Hey Michael Crabtree….Why?

See, Football season is here and there’s still one NEW pro football player that hasn’t signed a contract by the team that signed him.

His name is Michael Crabtree and he was picked 10^th in this year’s draft. Not first, not second, or even fifth. Tenth.

Why hasn’t he signed a contract yet or been to a single practice?

Because he’s “holding out”.

Holdout – “a refusal by a negotiator to come to terms in the hope of obtaining a better deal”

He was offered 20 million dollars to play a GAME of football for 5 years -with 16 of that 20 guaranteed.

Michael Jordan more than proved he was worth it when the Bulls offered him 30+ million for one year towards the end of his career.

You? You haven’t proven or accomplished a damn thing on a professional level yet, and here you are holding out for more money. You haven’t even had a chance to lace up a pair shoes in a professional uniform, but you want more money.

You claim to love this game -A GAME, and you’re holding out as if that sort of money has always been chump-change to you.

You have proven to be a great player in high school and college, but like many before you can attest to, all those past accomplishments don’t mean squat once you put on a pro uniform.

You have the chance to do something many, many people dream about all their lives. There are people out there that have the capacity to be better than you but due to circumstance don’t have the means to showcase their talent. Life was kind to you and you were lucky to have people in your life that allowed you to follow a path where your natural talent could be showcased and seen.

But you act as if you have already been responsible for many superbowl championships and now demand that your pro accomplishments be properly recognized with money.

Do you think your possible future team mates like you right now? Do you think you’re on your way to being a good role model?

Oh, and then you threatened to sit out this season and enter next year’s draft. Really?

Know what? I hope you do sit out this year. But I also hope that during that time you injure yourself doing something stupid that will prevent you from ever putting on a pro uniform.

Oh, is too mean? Ok, tell you what then. I hope you DO get the extra money you are asking for. Yup.

And when you get it, I hope you are never injured so you can work your ass off every day. But I hope your hard work never pays off the way you think it will. I hope that you become just another player that never reaches the popularity he thought he would reach and that you squander your money fast and easy.

I hope you end up being so bad that in the end you are released several times by different teams, and end up begging for a shot with other teams late in your career.

Being a douche-bag doesn’t pay off. Just ask Barry Bonds.

So Mr. Crabtree, you are an honorary inductee into the douche-bag club.

Hey, where you going? I’m talking to you Jimmy John’s. And you, slow-ass CTA lady driver. Yeah, you too, low-cut-blouse-wearing hussy. Joe Wilson, get your ass over here. Yup, you too, Apple. You are all in the douche-bag club.

Hey “The Wire” and “Battlestar Galactica”, wanna go out for drinks? My treat.